Tuesday, March 27, 2007
~ HELLO!! ~
10:23:00 pm
Hello Blogger! *Hehe*...
I missed blogging... And so here I am to blog!
So, were you wondering where I've disappeared to for the past 1 week and 2 days? Maybe you wouldn't wanna know but I'm gonna say it anyway... *Heh*...
No, I did NOT attempt any suicide... Whatever I've said on my previous entry was something impulse that I had in mind... But life is too precious for me to do something as silly as that...
Well actually, I, or rather we (my group members), had been very very busy with a presentation which we had to present yesterday... And guess what? We only had 5 to 6 days to prepare everything from the collection of data to the compilation of data to the preparing of presentation slides... Actually, the preparation of presentation slides was my job and amazingly, I only took a day to prepare it but it's all thanks to Flora & Lee Peng too!!
To be honest, this is the most shortest notice of presentation that I've ever had... And at the same time, all of us had to work too... So, even though it may be a little messy here and there, but at least we felt proud to have done so at such a short time...
But on the downside... I fell ill yesterday... Actually, it's just a flu... *Hehe*... But due to the stress from the presentation & work and the lack of rest (for 3 days in a row, I woke up early and slept late), I had the flu which still drags on till now!
Probably my body is telling me that I need lots of rest... And I guess that it was really the worst yesterday... I nearly fell asleep while following the doctor's rounds and mind you, I was standing! But of course, I've got my well-deserved rest by getting my PH!! And it's my Chinese New Year PH!! *Haha*...
But wait! My stress doesn't stop here even though my presentation have ended (even though it was like a huge burden lifted off our shoulders)...
Apparently, I'm gonna have a student to precept for the next 6 weeks!! It's the final attachment (PRCP) for these students and I will have to guide one of them who's coming to our ward... And this student is going to tag on me closely by following me with my shift... Yeap, his shift will be the same as mine INCLUDING my NIGHT DUTY and having to work on weekends... And oh, my preceptee is an AH BOY... *Haha*... And I thought that it was girl... *Hee*... Say GOODBYE to your enjoyable life! You gonna suffer with me... I'M JUST KIDDING!! *Hehe*...
Well...
Don't you seem to notice that I'm much happier now? And I admit that I am...
My stress is better controlled now... Even though I AM still stressed but I'm learning to cope with it... I'm back with my special someone again and I thank God for this... With all this that is or was overwhelming me, I've learnt to take a step at a time...
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
Sunday, March 18, 2007
~ Emotional Meltdown ~
10:41:00 pm
I am not so strong after all...
I really broke down today after all that had happened... I guess my mum's 'scolding' (just cuz I came back home SLIGHTLY late since I had to meet up with a friend to collect school notes!) was the ultimatum... I immediately broke down after I was all alone in my room...
Felt so 'suay' today... My patient collapsed just before passing over of report... Since it's still within my time, I had to stay behind to do the report and handle a couple of things... And at the same time my patient collapsed, I had a new admission...
School is starting tomorrow... It's gonna be a start of another stressful 2 weeks...
I've just asked for a time-off from the relationship with my boyfriend... Honestly, I really feel alone and lonely even though he's there... And I keep on finding faults with him even though he's not at fault... I don't know if this is the best to everything but I guess, a time-off would do us good for now cuz I would stop being harsh to him and finding faults in him...
I am very, very tired... Life is turning upside down for me... And I nearly wanted to pop a whole strip of Piriton cuz all I wanted is to forget all my worries and disappointments... But don't worry... I didn't and I won't...
*Sigh*
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
Friday, March 16, 2007
~ De-Stress Time ~
11:44:00 pm
Finally, there was some time for me to de-stress myself... Just in time before school starts next week...
It's always a fun, crappy and 'crazy' time each time I meet up with my ever-dearest best friend, Fatinah... Cuz the things that we do all comes impromtu and the ideas that we have is always crazy... Well, literally... *Haha*... Just like the other time when we went round Singapore River in the river cruise...
Just today, we got ourselves wet in the pools of Vivocity... Those mini-pools that they have there... Been wanting to soak my feet inside... And I finally did it! *Hehe*...
Although our intention was just to soak our feet in the pool but we ended up splashing water at each other and I had a very soaked jeans up till my thighs! Despite that, I still went home with that same pair of jeans which made me super cold in the train...
But it's no doubt... I had really enjoyed myself... Thank you gal!
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
~ Transfer Out? ~
12:21:00 am
Time and again, I kept telling myself to request for a transfer out from the ward... But at the end of the day, I just couldn't get myself to do it...
Despite all the 'crazy' colleagues and heavy workload that I have, I still get the satisfaction from what I like most doing... That is, the result of taking care of my elderly patients in the ward... Well, of course, there's the really demanding relatives sometimes... But I guess, that wouldn't deter me as well...
An incident today really made me think twice about wanting to make a move... There's this old
apek who would never wash his hands each time he goes to the toilet... No matter what we show or gesture (language barrier makes us harder to communicate), he would say no... And the worse part is when he touches my hand or arm for assistance in walking... Well, I know that you would go, "Ewwwwwww".... Well, I did too! *Haha*... I had to wash my hands and arms after each toilet visit with this
apek...
But that's not the issue here... I feel a little satisfaction from this little things that I get to do for my patients, such as walking him to the toilet... The thing is, would I still be as happy if I were to go to another ward? Would I still feel satisfied?
And this is why I have been thinking twice in making a move... Since ages ago, I kept telling some of my colleagues that I wanted to transfer out... But till today, I still have not requested it yet... Cuz I am still quite reluctant to move...
Some of my colleagues have been very supportive though... Each time when I feel like slacking, they would tell me to buck up... Not in a way to scold me or anything... But it was to support me... They kept telling me that it's the end product that matters, the thing that is going to make me proud, and that is why I have to suffer now...
I admit that it's a very stressful period but I keep telling myself that I can do it, no matter where I am or where I'll be... No matter how bad it is, cuz what matters in the end, is the results...
P.S. Thanks for the date yesterday, dear... It's been a long, long time since we last had time for a date... I guess, it'll be sometime later before we'll get to spend time with each other again... *Sigh*
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
Sunday, March 11, 2007
~ Life is not so smooth sailing ~
9:23:00 pm
There would come a time in everyone's life when it seems that everything is going perfect for you, just the way you want it to be... But out of a sudden, everything just crumbles right in front of your eyes... And despite you being there, you are just as helpless...
No, it's not happening to me, not yet and hopefully not... Although I thought that it nearly happened...
Just as I thought when I had all the things that I had wished for... But as we all know, nothing is perfect in life... No wonder people say, life is like a wheel... There are times when we're on top, but there are also times when we are at the extreme bottom...
Honestly, I just feel burnt out from everything... Work, school, relationship and health... Yes, my health is included too...
Work as usual, has been physically tiring and mentally challenging... But with the introduction of my studies into the picture, everything seems more jumbled and messed up... Sometimes, I don't perform well at work and given that my working place (read: my ward) has extremely high expectations from their staffs, whatever we do, nothing looks fine in their eyes... *Sigh*...
I've probably underestimate the route to a degree... No doubt I was elated when I was accepted for the Bachelor of Health Science (Nursing) in SIM, but it's nothing like my polytechnic days... Back then, we were still being spoonfed... After all, it's the route for us in becoming a nurse... But when it comes to a Bachelor, it's teaching us not to be a nurse... Therefore, we had to be more independent this time... This is the way to a degree...
Relationship... Because of my work and studies, I have lesser time to spend with my special someone... Maybe what he predicted is true... And what I gave back then were just empty promises that I couldn't fulfil now... If I am already struggling with my work and studies, what more a relationship...
I know that things haven't been going well between the both of us... We have lesser communication, lesser dates... And now, our relationship has been pretty much shaky... I know that he has been sacrificing a lot of his time, picking me up from school or work, enduring my forever swinging mood... I have been very harsh at times but I know that he is not at fault... And I know that he is very tired of all of this and I'm not making it any better... *Sigh*...
My health is no better... My giddiness is still there and it still attacks me when I least expect it... Like the other day at work... I just got so giddy but thankfully, I didn't pass out... And people have been commenting that I look very pale... Maybe I need to go for a medical checkup...
I guess that I'm at the bottom of the wheel of life now...
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
Sunday, March 04, 2007
~ I'm Done!! ~
10:13:00 pm
FINALLY!! I can heave a big sigh of relief!! *PHEW*...
That's cuz I've already completed my assignment! *Haha*...
But believe it or not, it took me just a mere 2 days to complete my assignment...
Amazing? No, I don't think so... It's very scary actually... It would usually take me a week to do such assignments... But when it took me only 2 days, it's telling me that the job that I'm doing is not very good...
Anyway, it's already over and done... The dateline is tomorrow... I just can't wait to submit it as soon as possible...
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
Thursday, March 01, 2007
~ Migraine? ~
11:55:00 pm
I finally have a diagnosis for my recurrent giddiness and headache...
Migraine headache with giddiness...
Hmm... Migraine? It's quite weird cuz I don't get the painful attacks on my head... Well, only maybe a slight headache after each giddy episode...
According to the GP, he said that migraine can come in different forms... Not necessarily with the painful attacks...
And the source of it? None other than stress! No doubt that I'm stressed... With work and the assignment which will due on the 5th and I've yet to complete... In fact, I couldn't sleep for the whole night last night... And I got super giddy when I woke up from bed...
And yes... My first MC for the year... *Hurhur*
written, NaDiaH eRNiYaNTi
